Marriage

1: PROTECTION. Protect your spouse from yourself. Be Responsible for Your Mood – Often, when we’re in a bad mood, or we’re worried about something, it is easy to dump all of our frustration and anger on our spouse. It takes some presence of mind and discipline to handle these situations well, but it is well worth the effort.

When you find yourself in a foul mood, simply say to your spouse, “I’m in a bad mood. This has nothing to do with you, and I will try not to direct it at you. Don't worry, I love you and I should be over this by tonight. If for some reason I'm not, I'll do my best to take it out on you in bed.” This allows your spouse to go on about his or her day without feeling either 1) obligated to make you feel better—which never works anyway, or 2) guilty for causing your bad mood—which is usually not their fault.

2: MEET THEIR EMOTIONAL NEEDS. Love em the way they want to be loved – Most of us try to help out our spouses in the exact wrong way. Find out what makes them happiest and do it the way THEY want. It pays off in BIG dividends. 

3: TIME. Spend it together. Connect. Snuggle. Talk. Play. Laugh. Tickle. Have sex. lots. N more sex. (full moon, excuse me) Date. 15 hours a week MINIMUM of Uninterrupted Attention to each other. No kids, no shop talk, no TV. Spend it with and on each other. You did that while you were dating and fell in love. Makes perfect sense that to STAY in love you gotta keep doing it.

4: SEX. I don't care what anybody says. Do it right, do it often. Make sure you are both FULFILLED. Do not give up on it, don't let it rust or get dusty. If it does, woo it back. Otherwise we might as well be married to the neighbors. Polite roommates eventually makes for a resentful marriage.

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